Not up to it today. @RobArnold

Yeah, I'm just alone with my demons, but it turns out they're good company.
 The New Yorker

  

Today it is raining.  That's a good thing we need rain.  

This morning I hit bottom.  I'm so tired of not seeing the future. 

You have more time to think and sometimes that just calls in the sh-ty stuff. I know there's no point in reliving the past.  It can't be changed.  

I miss my family.  Chatting by Zoom, FaceTime or the phone is fine but it's just not the same as being there.  

I told EM this morning that these last weeks seem like being on a sailboat with no wind in the fog.  Or a winter's day with deep soft snow, no wind and heavy fog.  You're comfortable but can't see the horizon.  There's no GPS or application to help you navigate what is coming or when.

I can't plan because I don't know when it will be ok to hold my workshops again. Should I have jumped on the chance to give webinars? Probably. I didn't and now a colleague is. He's doing a great job of it (really!)plus earning money from his living room.

EM after 2 months away from his barber

My eXXpedition trip has been cancelled this year.  I took them up on their offer to talk by Zoom.  They plan to relanch the adventure with the same dates in 2021.  I asked to be included on the same leg.  I don't have to pay more, just finish the payments I was to make.  They clearly said that they can not guarantee that in 2021 the trip will be possible.  In that case, I loose my money unless I can get the insurance company I engaged to rembourse me if Australia won't let me in in August when I was to leave.  We'll see.  I'd only booked my flight home.  Emirates is offering to rebook flights up to 24 months out with no charges.  I had bought a flexible ticket so changes should be free.  However, there's still no guarantee that the trip will even happen.   The girls who have not had their trip yet have formed a FaceBook group to support each other.  

On the plastic front, I have a webinar tomorrow on Plastic with the Waterkeepers Alliance.  I also starting following a fellow named Rob Arnold. 
He's an artist that started collecting plastic on the beach in England to use for his artwork.  It's developped into much more than that. 
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/artist-rob-arnold-makes-waves-with-cornwall-beach-plastic-j8mvkrn23